Trip to the National Gallery of Art: My Observations
1/31/09

So, I was dragged to the Pompeii exhibit at the National Gallery of Art in DC to observe various pieces of old mosaics, books, statues, paintings, and busts which were either dug up from the site or contained information on the artifacts which were dug up from the site. During my trip there, I made several observations. Here they are:

All of the three-dimensional vistas and animations were made using Cinema 4D, not 3D Studio Max or even Vue. They were made by competent users, but not experts; the media heavily lacked realism.

There was a Japanese couple, both wearing Pearl Harbor t-shirts. I found that kind of humorous (in a rather insensitive way, I know). How did I know that they were Japanese? They were speaking an Asian language which wasn't Korean (that, I would have recognized), one was shooting with a Nikon, the other with a Sony (both Japanese brands), they were part of a tourist group which was contained a few people carrying bags with a small Japanese flag, so I assumed that the entire group was Japanese.

Each of the escalators has 80 steps linked together in a loop. It takes two seconds longer to descend than it does to ascend. The hand rails move slightly faster than the steps themselves. Go figure. It takes me 28 seconds to go from one end of the moving walkway to the other when going with it; it took 1 minute and 53 seconds when moving against it.

There are just over 34, 848 white LEDs lighting the tunnel from the main museum to the cafeteria. I counted them by realizing that there was an incandescent light every ten rows of LEDs for a count of 39 then six remaining rows. Each row contained 88 columns. Usually, every 60 LEDs uses ~2 watts. Now, these were big LEDs, so I'd say maybe 5 watts for 60 of these at full brightness. That's just under 3 kW per hour.

The revolving tray-disposal system jams temporarily if your tray isn't all the way on the track. The cafeteria charges for some food items based on weight ($0.60 per ounce.) I found that funny. To make a point, I put my salad on top of four plates (stacked on top of each other) instead of just one. When I complained that they charged me for four salads instead of one, I got most of my money back. What idiots; they should have realized that they were being set up.

There was a gigantic mobile hanging from the ceiling of the museum. It was comprised of metal rods and paddles. At one end of each rod, there was a paddle; on the other, a fulcrum holding the next-smaller rod. In order for the mobile to stay stationary (heh, a stationary mobile... XD), the net torque (twist power) had to be equal to 0 (m1 * r1 = m2 * r2). For each rod, the total mass (m) was the sum of each side plus the rod. This was multiplied by the distance from the fulcrum to find the torque on each side. I mentioned this to a group of students who were sketching the mobile as well as the security guard watching them; they didn't seem to care much. =(

I can't stand modern art. One centerpiece display was made up of five dull-brown 4 inch by 8 foot by 8 foot boards propped up against each other with two similarly colored 12-foot cylinders laying nearby. A painting in a 'special, limited-time-only' exhibit was a sloppily drawn rectangle on an otherwise blank canvas. Seriously, my cat could have made something just like that and the museum wouldn't know the difference. Also, there was a painting titled "Golden Autumn" of a bunch of squares arranged in no apparent formation, none of which were golden.

Note to anyone who feels like painting a volcanic eruption: upon first explosion, there is no stream of magma shooting straight up from the crater. Especially not up twice the height of the volcano before the clouds of ash start forming.

I was disappointed to realize that those infrared-equipped audio tour devices emit neither lasers nor 'pew pew' sounds. Fortunately, the former was quickly fixed with a laser pen (standard equipment for any geek), but I still had to make the sounds myself. Apparently, audio commentary number 404 isn't in the database; instead, I get an error message: "The number you have keyed does not exist". Bonus: all recorded audio files and video narration were done in British accents.

Near the auxiliary auditorium, there's a mound of chicken-wire in the shape of a bench. So, I went and sat down. Who would have known that sitting on a cheap, ugly bench would have constituted as "defacing artwork"?

Newsflash: people who come to a museum to relax and learn about Pompeii apparently don't enjoy listening to different "elevator music" (technically auditorium music considering that we were waiting for a documentary to begin), even if it is by Rick Astley. "Never gonna give you up. Never gonna let you down. Never gonna..." "Turn that damn thing off, boy!" Portable iPod speakers for the epic win.

Security guards act just like dogs; you point a laser near them (or a laser-pointer-equipped audio tour device) and they immediately start to look for the source. They even followed it around the floor (within a reasonable range). Well, they never found me; they were on the first floor and I was at the third floor balcony. Bonus: highly polished marble walls and lots of glass. Reflections were quite helpful.

You know those revolving doors? Well, apparently people get kind of annoyed when they're in the opposite quadrant from you and you're pushing against them. Thankfully, I was just leaving the museum when I was asked to stop.

Trying to fly a huge kite in the field surrounding the Washington Monument (which my 8th grade sister called the Pentagon... Bonus: she mistook the White House for a brown building nearly a block away) when there are huge gusts of wind just doesn't work, especially when there's still ice-coated snow all around you. The kite pulled too hard for the guy; he then slipped, fell, and slid down the slope of the hill. He only stopped when he slid off of a low wall and onto a sidewalk. Dude, you're doing it wrong.

That's what I observed during a trip to the National Gallery of Art.